Z Lober

For humans, our bodies, unlike that of a natural formation, develop neither cracks nor do they split apart when time wears down on us. Our lives are much shorter than the lifespan of something that is able to physically show the wear of time such as a rock or rock formation. The drama of time's force on our bodies is much softer and deceiving in this way.

I have trouble comprehending how fast time is moving and what it takes with it. Rocks and natural land formations give me concrete imagery that help me to understand what time can do, and how fast it can be with natural objects that will outlast me. Erosion is a very important part of my imagery. I'm constantly seeking to show it's beauty and destruction in my artwork.

This small collection of documentation includes the remnants of what I call "clay paintings"; a small taste of the thought and abstract imagery I have experienced while working on the project, Forty Yards, an ongoing series I began in 2019. This series of forty clay paintings represent my process of physically and mentally working out overwhelming emotions and at times incomprehensible images that have been unsettling my mind since a personally traumatizing loss, almost two years ago.

I have created a set of six rules for the first process of making each piece in this series:

1. Use exactly twenty-five pounds of clay
2. Clay must be on a one to two yard long canvas
3. Can only use feet
4. Feet can only touch clay
5. Thirty minutes for each clay painting
6. No interactions with anything else until thirty minutes are finished

Each canvas begins with finding a connection between the emotions of trauma I am unable to verbally express explored through the physical movement or the physical vocabulary that comes out of my body naturally as I experience the emotions.

I seek to better grasp time and the effects impending death have on the experience of living through these clay paintings. Each painting is a catalogue of body language attempting to describe the lasting emotions I am unable to comprehend from my experience two years ago, but each painting is also a record of exploring the constant fear of death I have developed since. Death in the American society is constantly ignored and denied. This unnatural and unusual perspective on death has created different complexes in my continued experience living. Through these clay paintings I am attempting to unlearn the ways in which I have been socialized to view death by celebrating my temporary marks as they naturally erode and in some cases, begin to decompose.